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Wrestling Consciousness

by Claudine

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1.
vice 04:29
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As the dust begins to settle I’m wondering how I’m wondering why Refuse to take your foot off the petal Keep pushing on It’s what you wanted all along The cracks in the walls they’re screaming They know its coming’ soon Watching in slow motion As the darkness takes hold of you Check your ego at the door Nobody gives a damn anymore Use ‘em up Are you through Wink at your reflection You beg you plead, you implore Head in your hands, knees to the floor Show ‘em up You’re long overdue Another dose of rejection Choose your vice to make it better They don’t understand It’s all part of the plan Your life plays out to the letter You won’t succumb You think you’re the only one The cracks in the walls they’re screaming They know it’s comin’ soon Watching in slow motion As the darkness takes hold of you Check your ego at the door Nobody gives a damn anymore Use ‘em up Are you through Wink at your reflection You beg you plead, you implore Head in your hands, knees to the floor Show ‘em up You’re long overdue Another dose of rejection Keep runnin Keep movin Make your escape Keep hidin’ denyin there’s only one way (Repeat Chorus)
2.
all i want 03:31
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You threw me from my path Now there’s just no looking back You opened up my eyes And made me start to realize It’s like a new found innocence For so long being resistant Now it seems all too clear I won’t be paralyzed by my fear All I want All I need And my heart it bleeds For a moment in time To feel what it’s like All I want All I need Is some time for me Just to think, just to know Feel myself let go I was sheltered for so long Stopped believing in the song And then you walked into my life And somehow made it all seem right For so long I could not conceive Now for the first time I believe From within ill let it out No longer will I doubt All I want All I need And my heart it bleeds For a moment in time To feel what it’s like All I want All I need Is some time for me Just to think, just to know Feel myself let go Excuses are made so easily It’s never too late, you made me see In you, my love, my strength, my friend You made me believe in myself again Now there’s nothing to hold me down Underneath my feet im on solid ground No longer do I need to hide Now that I’ve got you by my side (chorus) Follow your heart Never let go Reach for your dreams Keep fighting for what you know Follow your heart Don’t listen when they tell you “no” Believe in what you feel Find a way to make it real (repeat chorus)
3.
bleeding hearts 03:31
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the sincerity you wear, is waning words, once so powerful, now, have become draining a light that resonated, now falls dim what a fool I was for letting you in........ bleeding hearts know no destination torn apart by hope and admiration searching to land a place to take hold offering a hand as the devil takes your soul paint on the smile, choose the mood for the day spend a while, just enough time to get your way not so complicated just keep in all in check so much you underestimated do you have any regrets bleeding hearts know no destination torn apart by hope and admiration searching to land a place to take hold offering a hand as the devil takes your soul seems so easy didn’t mean it smoke and mirrors, hidden doors oh how i feel it taught me to need it descending, down onto the floor bleeding hearts know no destination pulled apart by hope and admiration searching to land a place to take hold offering a hand as the devil takes your soul (repeat 1st verse)
4.
in the ruins 04:16
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She lies there waiting Hoping it will be the last time She’s anticipating Of what will be on his twisted mind She goes to scream And he covers up her mouth Never to dream Of what it’s supposed to be about She tries to say Its not okay He’s not listening anyway Cut me loose She’s gonna make her move No longer taking this from you Get away No matter what it takes There’s nothing left here for you to break Runnin from this hell Knowing it all too well In the ruins a shell of herself She trembles in the sickness The pain it runs too deep There’s no room for forgiveness The hate is all she has to keep She carries it with her Endlessly haunting her mind Perpetually injured He’s there with her every time She tried to say Its not okay He never listened anyway Cut me loose She’s finally made her move No longer taking this from you Get away No matter what it takes There’s nothing left here for you to break Runnin from this hell Knowing it all too well In the ruins a shell of herself Stole the innocence that used to dwell Replaced with guilt and shame, and the curse not to tell Hiding behind the smile she tries so hard to sell Embracing the emptiness she’s come to know so well (Background vocal; Can anyone hear me, Can anyone see, deliver me from this place. Take away this endless pain, in my mind i need to erase. Can anyone hear me, can anyone see. Damaged goods is all that remains. Left here in this empty shell....................never to be the same) She tried to say It’s not okay He never listened anyway Cut me loose She’s finally made her move No longer taking this from you Get away No matter what it takes There’s nothing left here for you to break Runnin from this hell Knowing it all too well In the ruins a shell of herself
5.
fallen angel 04:09
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They say the truth can set you free And all its brought is pain to me Trusted your eyes Believed all your lies I bought your sincerity Sacrificed integrity Stood by your side A fool to take this ride Blinded to the truth Always defending you Just to be adored Always needing one more Fallen angel Fell so far from grace My fallen angel Find rescue from this place I held you so high I thought that you could fly And with your broken wing You destroyed everything One more lie to hide the last Wild fire, and spreading fast Try to make amends The unraveling begins Forgiveness is earned By showing lessons learned The heart can beat again If allowed the time to mend Fallen angel Fell so far from grace My fallen angel Find rescue from this place Oooh, ohhh………oh no not you Oooh, ohhh………tell me it’s not true My fallen angel Fell so far from grace My fallen angel Find rescue from this place (repeat chorus)
6.
if i ran to you (free) 03:33
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runnin down this open road wreckless searchin to find a glimpse of me helpless crashin into you senseless open up the door powerless now I know what im feeling and I know ive gotta long way to go and I know it’s too revealing and I know ive gotta make it on my own but if I ran to you would you hold me and if I ran to you would you tell me what you feel if I ran to you could you heal me if I ran to you would you make it alright what I need is a revelation a cure for this contradiction runnin through my veins an addiction the answers lie in you and I’m listening now I know what im feeling and I know I’ve got a lot to learn and I know it’s too revealing reaching out for you, tell me which way do I turn but if I ran to you would you hold me and if I ran to you would you tell me what you feel if I ran to you could you heal me if I ran to you would you make it alright got to let it, got to let it, got to let it in feel my heart’ feel my heart, beating got to let it, got to let it, got to let it in feel my heart’ feel my heart, beating repeat chorus
7.
clouds 02:18
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n/a
8.
don't make a sound 03:44
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How was she to know Makin it fine, doin it on her own How was she to know Solemnly swore, she’d never need anyone As she looked around Her t’s crossed, i’s dotted one by one As she looked around Livin her life as though it were not her own Never knowing something else was inside Blindly turning away easier to hide Standing before her the key to unlock the door Her walls crumbling, she can’t hide anymore The violence shakes her, to find all that’s buried here The strength of one voice that brings her far to near What can she do now, with all that she has found Keep it in, don’t make a sound She tries not to fall The pain of knowing there’s no one to catch her She tries not to fall Shattered dreams of ever after She won’t let it show She hopes that maybe in time it’ll fade away She won’t let it show How can she feel, all that she’s locked away Never knowing something else was inside Blindly turning away easier to hide Standing before her the key to unlock the door Her walls crumbling, she can’t hide anymore The violence shakes her, to find all that’s buried here The strength of one voice that brings her far to near What can she do now, with all that she has found Keep it in, don’t make a sound Don’t make a sound Don’t make a sound Don’t make a sound shhhhhhhhhhhhhh Her hands are tied Still searching for her silver lining Her hands are tied Living her life without even trying She knows the way Never to find all she’s come to know She knows the way The only choice she has is letting go Never knowing something else was inside Blindly turning away easier to hide Standing before her the key to unlock the door Her walls crumbling, she can’t hide anymore The violence grips her, to find all that’s buried here The strength of one voice that brings her far to near What can she do now, with all that she has found Keep it in, don’t make a sound Don’t make a sound
9.
you 03:44
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All the colors seem brighter now Somehow the music Is sweeter, and how Wasn’t clear, but now the writing’s on the wall Like I’ve been waitin’ here for you To catch my fall You, believe me You, you see me You, you’re makin’ me Take a chance on everything You, you touch me You, you love me You, you’re makin’ me Search to find what lies beneath A resemblance to maybe what could have been Bittersweet to know you’re here till’ the end Simply impossible to let you go I’m holding back, there’s so much more That you should know You, believe me You, you see me You, you’re makin’ me Take a chance on everything You, you touch me You, you love me You, you’re makin’ me Search to find what lies beneath You….You You penetrate me There’s no escaping You…… Time keeps passing by, but nothing’s changed Pushing back, break from these chains Standing here, I find you all around And then your voice calls out to me And I hit the ground (Repeat Chorus)
10.
the battle rages on 03:27
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are you ready for this game step right up and try to solve the riddle do you hunger to ride this train hold on tight, it’s gonna hurt a little oh its such a shame to watch it all fall to pieces it’s right before you, just in reach if you only just believe let it out, hold it in either way you cannot win you’re too young, you’re far too old who’s the one who’s in control say it once, say it twice what are you willing to sacrifice not enough, now you’ve gone too far and the battle rages on…… no sense in asking yourself why everyone’s looking for the answer how they steal and they connive spreading like a vicious cancer oh its such a shame to watch it all fall to pieces its right before you, just in reach if you only just believe let it out, hold it in either way you cannot win you’re too young, you’re far too old who’s the one who’s in control say it once, say it twice what are you willing to sacrifice not enough, now you’ve gone too far and the battle rages on…… wide awake, still in a haze desperate to fill the emptiness on to one “last” mistake wrestling with your consciousness scratching, crawling, keep up the pace reflections reveal the ugliness missing the truth in your haste your own strength becomes your weakness are you ready for this game step right up and try to solve the riddle do you hunger to ride this train hold on tight…. it’s gonna hurt a little
11.
stay 04:49
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Stay with me Stay here in my arms There’s nowhere else to be Lay right here For one more moment Don’t want to let you go Why do We have to steal When we know That this is real Forever It’s not in the cards Just to hold you And give you my heart Why do We have to steal When we know just what we feel I know this was not in the play Just reach out and ill give you my hand Look at me Look into my eyes You always see right through Please don’t say a word Let me remember you The way you are right now Why do We have to steal When we know That this is real Forever It’s not in the cards Just to hold you And give you my heart Why do We have to steal When we know just what we feel I know this was not in the play Just reach out and ill give you my hand For so long I have waited For this feeling to come along And there you are like magic, singing to me my song Loving you is so easy, my heart recognized you instantly Longing for your presence, I need to feel you close to me (repeat chorus & 1st verse)
12.
play me 03:47
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let me be your instrument, play me.... hear the sweet sound, when you’re goin’ down. feel my rhythm, stay in time strumming each chord now we’re moving toward tune every string and make me sing oh sweet harmony make it real to me your touch, is so tender, offer my surrender. beauty in your refrain, play it once again. let me be your instrument, play me.... hear the sweet sound, when you’re goin’ down. the art in your composition assume any position i am ready oh, im ready i can make you see we’ve got the melody don’t leave me standing all alone when im in your arms, im home soothe all my frets your hands playin’ down my neck hold my body one more time the feel of you, just blows my mind moving to our song right where we belong just show me what you need i am here to please my notes they speak to you when you hands leave me, I’m through allow me to accompany experience the ecstasy wield my action much more than an attraction round and round we go take it nice and slow let me be your instrument, play me.... hear the sweet sound, when you’re goin’ down. repeat chorus...
13.
come on over 04:51
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Come on over A little bit closer My bark’s much worse than my bite Come on baby Don’t say maybe Take me home tonight Cuz…I want you and You want me Lets stop pretending its something we dont see I need you You need me Lets get it started, and see how it can be Say my name Once again Close your eyes and feel your way Tell it to me All of dreams Let me take you far away Cuz…I want you and You want me Lets stop pretending its something we dont see I need you You need me Lets get it started, and see how it can be Ooo, ahhhh………….ooo, ahhh C’mon baby, don’t say maybe Ooo, ahhhh………….ooo, ahhh I know you know, weve got to go Ooo, ahhhh………….ooo, ahhh Feel the rhythm, you’re in my system Ooo, ahhhh………….ooo, ahhh What’s your desire, let’s take it higher Ooo, ahhhh………….ooo, ahhh I want you and You want me Lets stop pretending its something we dont see I need you You need me Lets get it started, and see how it can be You come on like a dream you’re not what you seem but I still want to taste you bring on the smile so stay for a while ill loose myself in your embrace (chorus) C’c’ cmon’, c’c cmon’………… I want to know, want you to show So come inside and take this ride….. (repeat) Whisper again in my ear And im yours my dear Lets waste no more time Tear down more than my walls To you let me crawl Baby I can make you mine (repeat chorus)
14.
hallelujah 06:20
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I heard there was a secret chord That David played, and it pleased the Lord But you don't really care for music, do you? It goes like this The fourth, the fifth The minor fall, the major lift The baffled king composing Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah Your faith was strong but you needed proof You saw her bathing on the roof Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you She tied you to a kitchen chair She broke your throne, and she cut your hair And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah Baby I have been here before I know this room, I've walked this floor I used to live alone before I knew you. I've seen your flag on the marble arch Love is not a victory march It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah There was a time you let me know What's really going on below But now you never show it to me, do you? But remember when I moved in you The holy dove was moving too And every breath we drew was Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah Maybe there’s a God above But all I’ve ever learned from love Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you It’s not a cry you can hear at night It’s not somebody who has seen the light It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah You say I took the name in vain I don't even know the name But if I did, well really, what's it to you? There's a blaze of light In every word It doesn't matter which you heard The holy or the broken Hallelujah I did my best, it wasn't much I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you And even though It all went wrong I'll stand before the Lord of Song With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah (Repeat Chorus)
15.
i will learn 03:59
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I will learn to pass you by Ignore the look in your eyes I will learn to wear the smile Sit and laugh a little while I will learn to stop the pain Hide the tears that fall like rain I will learn to just pretend call you friend Why is it so hard To just walk away You're still pulling at my heart Askin me to stay Seems impossible to sever The ties that bind Ignorance is bliss, love is blind I will learn to just not feel All of you, that seemed so real I will learn to let it go though it hurts you know I will learn to spend my time Only thinkin’ of you once in a while I will learn to face the truth And dream of someone new Why is it so hard To just walk away You're still pulling at my heart Askin me to stay Seems impossible to sever The ties that bind Ignorance is bliss, love is blind I will learn I will learn Just give me a little time I will learn I said I will learn Just need a little more time Why is it so hard To just walk away You're still pulling at my heart Askin me to stay Seems impossible to sever The ties that bind Ignorance is bliss, love is blind Seems impossible to sever The ties that bind Ignorance is bliss, love is blind

about

this album has been a journey for me. one that stemmed from a lifetime of alone knowing, i might have what it takes, but never having anyone else to validate those feelings, and take my gifts seriously....once that voice resonated with me, i was able to gain the strength and courage to share my words, my heart, my gift......my music.

the title of the album reflects my struggle to recognize that i wanted and had more to give than i was opening my eyes to. for a very long time, i was unconscious to the possibilities beyond the limitations i had given myself.

i was extremely fortunate to work with a team of musicians and producers that enabled me to bring my songs to life, and i have felt no better experience.

my hope is that you will take away with you a message of strength, will, and that no matter what happens you are not alone. somehow we are all connected, and there is no better way to experience that connection than through the artistic expression of music!

~cd

credits

released September 27, 2011

claudine; writer/lead & bg vox
isaac bolivar; guitar
jason wall; drums
mark kenoly; bass
jallah keys; piano

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claudine San Francisco, California

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